Bad influence

Let’s talk social media influencers.

Yes: I’ve used this title for an article I wrote 2(ish?) years ago. Regrets? None. It’s relevant, it works, and I’m terrible at coming up with titles.

Today I’m talking influences: specifically social media influences.

Okay, hands up: how many of you regularly log into Instagram and are immediately repelled by what you see? Dramatic, you may say: but I’m serious.

You know what I mean. Those individuals who just seem to have everything mapped out: perfect hair, perfect kitchen, perfect workout routine, perfect networks, perfect jobs etc. etc. etc.

I’ve got nothing against “influencers” – you do you girl but, honestly, that ain’t me.

I have a 9-5 job that, now I’m working from home, I wake up 5 minutes before I’m due to start and move from my bed to my desk. I haven’t left the house in days. I’ve had Lord knows how many bottles of wine since lockdown started. And, you know, it’s all fine and good until I log into Instagram.

Perfect Susan’s got it mapped out. She’s been up since 5 perfecting the workout of a lifetime.

And, can we just talk cloud coffee for a minute? I know I sound like the fun police, and there’s nothing wrong with adding a bit of fun to your drinks. I get that, but what’s wrong with just adding some granules to water and being done with it? Why has everything got to be so… perfect.

Your life, my life, it ain’t perfect. Nobody’s life is, especially not now. Last week I actively dreaded going onto social media because I knew I’d see somebody doing the most while I was doing the least. I don’t have my own business, I can’t take a good photo, I’m rubbish at talking to people, my breakfast looks like a dog vomited it up, and that’s okay (okay, maybe not the last point: just get a crumpet or something). We are striving to be perfect all the time and it’s just not obtainable.

So, I decided to take the plunge: I’ve actively unfollowed all social media influencers and I feel much better for it. It’s nice not to have such an aesthetically pleasing Instagram feed (as in, it’s just a bit more “real”).

I get everyone’s different, but I’m really struggling with this obsession to have a perfect lockdown. Nothing’s perfect in this world, least of all humans. If you’re struggling, I would really recommend going on a bit of an unfollowing spree. Work out whether the content you’re seeing is bringing you joy, or whether it’s bringing you pressure.

Mad about the food

A review of Helen Fielding’s Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy.

Warning: spoiler central

What were you doing in 2013? I was, I think, 14 and life was pretty mundane. I remember mushy macaroni cheese at the school canteen and Year 10 Maths. I vaguely remember this book hitting the headlines as, to the horror of UK citizens everywhere, Fielding had killed off one of literary’s most-loved characters: arrogant, stuck-up, likes you just the way you are, Mark Darcy. I was far too young to appreciate the joy Bridget Jones brought to our lives then, but I soon learnt as I got older and was introduced to the world of Cafe Rouge Thursdays and Smug Marrieds.

When I started reading this book I thought it would be, as stated by a New York Times critic, ‘genuinely moving’. I thought I’d eat it up in 2 days (not 21); I thought it would be filled with Fielding’s usual wit, and, most of all, I thought there would be a point. Unfortunately, I was wrong on all counts.

Whatever you were doing in 2013, I’m sure it wasn’t as exciting as Bridget’s promising script-writing career unfolding between the pages of Mad about the Boy.

That’s right: Darcy’s died a hero’s death and Bridget is left to the mercy of her 2 children, Billy and Mabel, and her nanny, Chloe (because every relatable mother has one), and she’s trying (and failing) to become a big-time script-writer. Her rendition of Hedda Gabler making waves at Greenlight Productions.

What I struggled with most about this book, and it’s a debate I’ve always struggled with when it comes to Bridget Jones’ diaries, is the implication that she is the epitome of the female experience. I mean, how many people do you know living it up in London every weekend with a steady paid job in publishing?

I think what brought use close to Bridget was ultimately her vulnerability. Fighting the every day sexism prevalent in the media industry, making an absolute fool of herself on a Saturday night, and going downstairs to greet her mother, only be asked the dreaded question NOBODY wants to hear: ‘oh! Is that what you’re wearing?’. As my mother says, there’s a bit of Bridget Jones in all of us.

But, in Mad About the Boy I think the difference was striking. There were a lot of things I didn’t get. Why, despite having the opportunity to turn her script into a film, does Fielding make Bridget appear a foolish, weak-willed woman, preoccupied with her toy-boy instead of showing a bit more interest in what could be the opportunity of a lifetime?

I suppose Bridget does have everything in hand, having been left with no money worries, but Fielding’s insistence on having Bridget worry more about what toy-boy, Roxster, wants for tea, rather than making notes or paying the slightest bit of attention in what could be a career defining moment is not very empowering. I appreciate we all go through writing slumps, and we are all victims of procrastination, but I feel Bridget’s entire lack of care was so out-of-touch. I can assure you, if I was in with a chance of any of my ideas making a hit on the big screen, Ben (my boyfriend) would have to make his own effing tea for the foreseeable.

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with anybody wanting to impress a guy, but completely ignoring a chance of a lifetime to impress a boy is so 1980.

I liked how this book attempted to encapsulate the struggles of motherhood, trying to find one’s way in a mass of school plays, school runs and modern technology, whilst Perfect Nicolette is doing everything you’re not. I say ‘attempted’ because the genuine, heartfelt connection between Bridget and her kids is totally undermined by the fact that Bridget doesn’t really do an awful lot.

She relies heavily on her nanny which is, of course, fine, but let’s be real: how many mothers out there can stay in bed till 9am on a weekday? What’s more, Bridget didn’t seem overly fussed when her kid was sent home with a septic finger, again worrying about what Roxster would or would not like her to do. I’m all for a strong independent woman who can do and date what she wants, but I just think the whole narrative is so far away from what single parents have to face on a day to day basis. And, to be fair, I wouldn’t mind if she wasn’t so preoccupied with his needs.

And… the food. The food.

What was up with the food and the farting?

It seemed Roxster’s only personality is being 29 (no, 30) and a lover of food. A pie and curry in one night (did anybody else get to this part, when Roxster didn’t bother showing up for the pies Bridget loving took out of a box, leaving her waiting for 2 hours while he ate a curry – I would’ve told the greedy bugger to jog on!). All Bridget and Roxster seemed to talk about was food and farting – I guess a nod at how youngsters are these days… (note the sarcasm). Maybe it’s me, but I didn’t get it.

When I finally got to the end I managed to pick up the pace, as some kind of action finally started to take place. Bridget realised her toy-boy was just using her (to be fair, their ending was quite sweet, it melted this cold woman’s heart), she regained her relationship with her mother, and fell in love with tyrannical PE teacher, Mr Wallaker. The very man who for the majority of the book was downright rude – you know, that old trope!

What I found disappointing is that the relationship between Bridget and her mother could have been better unpacked within this novel, rather than wrapping up a complicated issue in about 2 pages. In fact, a lot more could have been unpacked in this book. I mean, right at the end Bridget sacks off writing her screenplay and lives happily ever after with all loose ends tied. I was left wondering what the point was after all. Darcy died for this?

I fought through this book tooth and nail, but I think I’ll have to give it a 2/5. I enjoyed the ending, but I felt the themes could’ve been explored across the book as a whole. I think, if anything, this book shows how far Bridget’s experiences really are from those of the everyday, working person.

Let’s talk about ‘Go Set a Watchman’

First of all, here’s a very warm welcome to my blog! Before I even begin attempting to put together my thoughts regarding Harper Lee’s 2015 novel, I want to talk quickly about why I’ve decided to start writing yet another blog…

As some of you who know me may remember (although, unless you’ve been keeping an unhealthy amount of tabs on me, I’m sure you won’t), I did start a blog way back in 2016 that I failed to keep up-to-date and was full of a lot of nonsensical ramblings. However, I have recently finished my undergraduate degree in English Literature and am frantically (okay, maybe not ‘frantically’, but you get the idea) looking for a job, and it suddenly hit me that I have actual free time to pursue something I enjoy for once!

Upon completing my final year assignments it hit me that with my mediocre self-confidence and low-level writing ability I probably won’t have the chance to write about books again – sad times. That’s when I had the eureka moment of starting yet another blog entirely about books (although, knowing me it will end up deviating from time to time, then coming back full circle when I realise I am in fact not an artist, crocheter, traveler, or anything else of interest). I can’t promise it won’t be nonsensical, and I can’t promise anyone will even read it, but after not even 2 weeks of driving myself stir-crazy in this house, I NEED a hobby, and this is the best thing I could come up with.

Okay, now that’s done let’s talk Harper Lee.

I picked my copy of ‘Go Set a Watchman’ up from a charity shop in Cardiff because I had heard so many mixed reviews about this book, and was previously adamant not to read it, having heard the controversies surrounding it’s release. I’m unsure about the outcome of these controversies, and whether Lee did intend for the book to be released, yet I do believe that the book was perhaps not published by Lee for a reason prior to 2015.

I wouldn’t say I overly enjoyed this book. ‘Enjoyed’ is perhaps not the right word to consider, for there were parts of the novel that I thought were excellent, and other parts that seemed rushed and incomplete. I found it difficult to put down, but I feel this was mostly due to frustration than anything as I spent most of my reading time silently begging Jean Louise to call her father out on his racism.

Let’s first consider the structure of the narrative: I feel that not a lot really happened in the book and the reader was left waiting for Jean Louise to reveal something about her relationship to Calpurnia, Atticus, Jem, Hank, and Alexandra that never really came. Firstly, there was little explanation for Jem’s death, with Jean Louise merely having flashbacks that reminded us of his importance, but with his quick death it rendered his character pretty irrelevant in the main subject matter of the novel. Secondly, I feel Lee wanted to focus intently on Maycomb’s racial prejudice and stagnation, but did so in a way that did become repetitive and at times seemed a little flat.

The focus point of the novel was Maycomb, Alabama’s reluctance to accept African-Americans, viewing them as ‘behind’ as Atticus repeatedly reminds Jean Louise. Lee does convey the xenophobic fears felt by the South well, demonstrating the town’s obsession with what the ‘others’ might think if somebody was to go against the grain. As I was reading I definitely felt the novel’s resonance with the recent abortion laws that are being passed in Alabama right now, revealing the South’s blatant hypocrisies.

Following Jean Louise’s desire to leave Maycomb and her hypocritical father and lover behind, Dr Finch, first, slaps her across the face, and then reveals that she should stay because the town ‘needs some more’ of her kind, of her opinions. Now, perhaps it’s my 21st Century brain talking here, but I totally understood why Jean Louise wanted to leave Maycomb behind, or even why she found it in her to hate her father for his offensive opinions. However, instead of condemning Atticus and Maycomb, the text seems to say ‘it’s alright, we all have different viewpoints – even if some, like segregation and those belonging to the KKK are extremely damaging – but we shouldn’t let it come between us’.

I feel that there is somewhat a point to Lee’s novel, and it is potentially just a product of its time. Perhaps Lee is saying that we should keep standing up for what we believe in, even if our families don’t stand with us, in order to bring about change. I do feel, though, that the novel misses its mark in some way.

When I first started reading ‘Go Set a Watchman’ I was disgusted. It’s no ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ that’s for sure, but I feel I missed out on a crucial point. I love ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ – I dressed as Atticus for World Book Day back in 2016 for goodness sake, but I have always been slightly unsure and uncomfortable with its very blatant white savior complex it has going on. ‘Go Set a Watchman’ tries, I think, to work towards erasing this. Even if Lee didn’t mean it to, for all its flaws and miscalculations, ‘Go Set a Watchman’ reveals to us the realities of liberalism. Atticus is perhaps the most well-known example of liberal goodness, saving the black man from being wrongfully accused, but now he is a teeming racist, believing all black people should ‘stay in their place’. People are outraged because they cannot handle the fact that Atticus, and even Jean Louise to an extent in her condescending attitude towards black people exercised in the text, are not the liberal they thought he was. They blame Lee, but don’t look under at what lies under the surface of liberalism.

I think ‘Go Set a Watchman’ is a healthy 3/5. I wouldn’t say it was a particularly unenjoyable book, with parts of it being quite gripping and revealing the harsh realities prevalent in a politically conflicted America. However, parts did miss the mark, and sometimes the narrative did seem a little rushed and incomplete.

Stay tuned as I’ll be reviewing ‘Everything I Know About Love’ by Dolly Alderton next!